if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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