i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
