these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
