Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
