It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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