note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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