our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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