You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You were trust falling into bushes
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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