Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
