Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
