She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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