I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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