Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
