Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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