My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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