HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize