You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
