seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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