the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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