Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize