you would pick up someone in the library
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
