I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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