well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize