He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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