i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize