we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
