you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
