did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
