I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have already put on my inside pants.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
