It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
