He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
