She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
