it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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