pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
