I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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