Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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