Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
