Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
