You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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