they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
