He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
