It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
