That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
