I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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