Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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