Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize