We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she peed on how many people?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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