One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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