What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
