i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
