You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
