Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
These tits shall not be calmed
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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