Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Success! We fucked roommates!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
