now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize