is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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