using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
