She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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