Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
