apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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