all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
