wakey wakey hands off snakey
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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