Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
