Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize