the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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