just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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