so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
