piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
