the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
