She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
