During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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