But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
