return my video game
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize