Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
