i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize