i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
