I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
