Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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